The totally cliché story of love and betrayal
by Lady Firefly
Summary: It’s your regular absolutely cliché story with an unexpected twist!


Okay, here's the situation; I have a small case of writers block with MirR. So I decided to write a short parody of aaaaall the cliché DBZ/SM stories I've ever read. It's gonna be two parts, and this is the first. Hope ya like. nn;  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
The totally cliché story of love and betrayal   
  
It's your regular absolutely cliché story with an unexpected twist!  
  
By Lady Firefly  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey everybody, I'm early today!" Usagi called out excitedly as she skipped into the 'temple.' Alas, it be only 'the temple' because no one really knows what it's real name is. Some call it Cherry Hill, Some call it Sendai, and some call it the Hiawaka Shrine. But most just call it the temple, or Rei's temple. So that is what it shall be called.  
  
"Hi Usagi!" Minako greeted her best friend in the entire world happily, twirling a strand of her light blonde hair around in her fingers.  
  
"Oh, Hello Usagi," Ami said in a slightly monotone voice, keeping her eyes locked on the book in front of her.  
  
"So what's on the agenda today?" The odango haired princess asked.  
  
"Well, first we're going to read up to chapter 3 in our math books and answer the questions at the bottom of the page, then we're going to eat those delicious rice balls that I made today," Makato answered. "And…oh yeah, I've almost forgot. We've all decided that we hate you know."  
  
"You WHAT?" Usagi's happy look turned into one of complete and utter shock as small tears sprang to her eyes. "But you can't! Why? I mean, you guys are my best friends!"  
  
"Uh...Usagi--"  
  
"I mean, it doesn't make sense! Why would you turn on me just like that?"  
  
"Usagi--"  
  
"And what about Crystal Tokyo? You guys are supposed to be my senshi! Why--"  
  
"USAGI SHUT UP!" Rei finally was able to interrupt Usagi by whacking her over the head with a large roll of paper.  
  
"Ow!" The blonde haired senshi rubbed her head. "What was that for?"  
  
"Play along," Rei hissed.  
  
"Whaat? Play along with what?"  
  
"Didn't you read the script?"  
  
"What script?"  
  
"This script." Rei whispered, rolling her eyes and opening up the paper, then showing it to Usagi.  
  
Usagi grabbed the paper and scanned it with her eyes. "Who wrote this?"  
  
"I dunno, but we've got to follow it."  
  
"Okay, okay, okay…where's my line?"  
  
"Down there."  
  
"Hokay…" She cleared her throat loudly and recited in a monotone voice, "I knew you would all turn on me someday. I bet Mamoru is in on this too."  
  
"In on what?" Mamoru said loudly, walking in next to Usagi and putting his and on her shoulder.  
  
"Didn't you read the script?" Ami whispered.  
  
"What script?"  
  
"Oh god, we've gone through this all already.." Makato handed Mamoru a copy of her own script. "Just read it."  
  
Mamoru looked down at the piece of paper. "Yes I am, Usagi, I don't...love you anymore? What? Who wrote this?"  
  
"Follow the script, damnit!"  
  
"Okay, okay, sorry…I love Rei now she and me…that's really bad grammar, you know…she and me have been going out behind your back for 6 months."  
  
Usagi blinked. "Ha, I knew it? Geez, who wrote this, it's nothing like me!"  
  
Rei ignored Usagi's question and read her own lines, "That's right Mamoru, my love." She said seductively, wrapping her arm around Mamoru who was still looking very confused and rather Trunks-like if you ask me, which made him even cuter. "And now," she said, looking over at Usagi with a look that would kill. "We're going to dump you out of the sailor senshi, and I'm going to be the leader!"  
  
"Hey, that's not fair!" Minako said loudly. "I'm the leader of the inner senshi, I should be the leader!"  
  
"Quiet, Minako, it's in the script."  
  
"Oh, oops, Gomen."  
  
Usagi blinked. "Well okay, guess I better be going then."  
  
"Alrighty. Bye Usagi."  
  
"Yeah, see you tomorrow."  
  
"Ja ne, you guys," She said, walking out of 'the temple.'  
  
Rei smirked happily. "And the Oscar goes to me, thank you everybody, you've been a GREAT audience."  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"Okay, so now what does it say in the script?" Usagi asked herself, looking down at the little piece or paper as if it held all the answers. She continued walking, muttering to herself. "Okay, Chapter two, I walk around and then I…say what? Oh kami, this is stupid…hokayokay…(ahem) Ugh, I hate the inner senshi and Mamoru, I should go off to a new dimension and protect that one and yeah." She blinked. "Okay…"  
  
"Hello Princess," Setsuna suddenly appeared in front of Usagi, holding a small piece of paper in one hand very similar to the one Usagi was holding, her dark green hair swishing behind her.  
  
"Oh, hey Setsuna! Wow, do you have one of those crazy script too?"  
  
"Shh, Usagi, stop talking about the script."  
  
"Oh sorry."  
  
Setsuna cleared her throat. "I couldn't help overhearing you--"  
  
"Yes you could."  
  
"Usagi, script."  
  
"Oh oops! Sorry, go on."  
  
"Well, as I was saying. I couldn't help overhearing you and how you were talking about going to a new dimension, and I can probably assist in some way or another."  
  
"Oh." Usagi tilted her head, her odangoes waving slightly. "I guess that's be cool."  
  
"Oh…kay…" Setsuna checked her script with one hand and summoned her key with the other. "Okay, so it says here that I have to send you to some other dimension."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"And you might get hurt if you don't watch your step."  
  
"Ah, couldn't be much worse then landing on Cell's head. ((That, my friends, would be a shameless plug. Go read Mirakuru Romansu. Now.))" She replied happily.  
  
Setsuna blinked, and then shrugged. As long as it wasn't her landing on…eh. She raised her key and the garnet stone on top glowed bright pink.  
  
And Usagi disappeared.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
And who did Usagi land on but Vegeta.  
  
"ONNA!" Vegeta yelled at the tops of his lungs as he walked through the Capsule Corp living room.  
  
"WHAT IS IT DAMNIT!" Bulma responded from the top of the stairs.  
  
"ONNA WILL YOU--OOF!" He was interrupted in mid sentence as a large blonde haired THING landed on top of him.  
  
"WILL I _WHAT_, VEGETA?" Bulma yelled back, not knowing that Vegeta had just been run over by a 16 year old girl with a crazy hairstyle.  
  
"Umm…" Usagi blinked, and looked down at the person she was sitting on top of. She saw dark blue spandex and pointy black hair. And then she got nervous. "Uh oh."  
  
"Will you GET THIS GODDAMN CHILD OFF ME DAMNIT!!" Vegeta screamed at the top of his lungs. No wait, make that yelled. Or shouted. Whenever I think of Vegeta screaming, I hear a little girly scream coming out of his mouth. Of course we all know that Vegeta has a very manly scream, but that doesn't keep me from thinking crazy thoughts. So let's try that over.  
  
"Will you GET THIS GODDAMN CHILD OFF ME DAMNIT!!" Vegeta _shouted_ at the top of his lungs.   
  
Much better.  
  
Bulma ran down the stairs, and stared at the senshi that was sitting on top of her husband.  
  
Silence.  
  
And then she burst out laughing and ran off to get a camera. "AHAHAHATHATISSOPRICELESSAHA!"  
  
In her haste she bumped into Mirai Trunks, who blinked and stared at Bulma as she ran past laughing hysterically about Vegeta being a seat cushion for Usagi. He blinked again, and then turned to look at Usagi and Vegeta.  
  
Silence.  
  
Then he burst out laughing as well.  
  
"SHUT UP AND GET HER OFF OF ME BOY!" Vegeta shouted, not screamed, at Trunks, who blinked and sweat dropped.  
  
"Uhh…it's okay, I can get up myself.." Usagi said, standing up. "Oh wait, let me check the script."  
  
"Script?"  
  
She pulled the piece of paper out of her pocket and eyed it. "Actually, I can't, the script says you have to help me up," She said, looking up at Trunks.  
  
"I do?"  
  
"Yep." She smoothed out her skirt and then sat down on top of Vegeta again.  
  
"DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS?!?" Vegeta yelled loudly.  
  
"Uhh…no."  
  
Trunks blinked, obviously having absolutely no clue that there even was a script, and grabbed Usagi's hand, pulling her off of Vegeta, who promptly got up and ran off to go find 'the onna.' "What's the script for anyway?" he asked in a puzzled tone of voice.  
  
"I have no clue." She replied, scanning the page for Trunks's lines. "Okay, wait, here's your line."  
  
He blinked, and took the paper from her, reading aloud. "Hi, what'd your name. Well, that's not too bad, is it?"  
  
"Okay, give me the script back." Usagi yanked the script away from him and read her own lines. "My names Usagi what's your name."  
  
"No last name?"  
  
"It doesn't say my last name on the script."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Read your line."  
  
"My name is Trunks Bri--hey wait a second, why is my last name here when yours isn't?"  
  
"I don't know!" She exclaimed. "Let me see the script."  
  
"Here," he replied, handing it to her.  
  
"Okayokay where were we…Oh, wait, you have another line."  
  
"I do?"  
  
"Yep, here."  
  
"Okaywhatisit…I hope my dad, the…wait a second, there is NO WAY I AM READING THIS!" He exclaimed, his blue eyes widening.  
  
"You have to!" Usagi replied angrily.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I…don't know…just read it, it can't be that bad."  
  
Trunks groaned, pulled some of his lilac hair away from his face, and read very quickly. "IhopemydadthgreatedestfighterintheworldevenbetterthenGokuandprinceofthe…can't read this word, think it's 'Saiyajins…' didn'tscareyouoranything. THERE ARE YOU HAPPY?" He threw the script back at Usagi.  
  
Usagi fought back laugher as she took the script back. "Heh, maybe Vegeta wrote this."  
  
"Are you kidding? I don't think he even knows how to read!" Trunks exclaimed.  
  
"I HEARD THAT!" A loud vice came from the kitchen.  
  
Trunks sweat dropped. "Oh shit."  
  
Usagi began to read her own lines. "No that's okay he seems like a nice person…"  
  
"Hah, hell will freeze over first." Trunks interrupted.   
  
Usagi cleared her throat loudly. "Anyway; do you know if there's a place where I can stay at all."  
  
Trunks blinked. "Don't you live a couple blocks away?"  
  
"Script, Trunks."  
  
"Whatever…" he took the script back. "Sure you can stay here at Capsule Corp, and by the way, you're…really…" He trailed off. "HOLY SHIT, I can't read this!"  
  
"You have to…"  
  
"It says for me to say, 'You're really cute.'" Trunks said angrily.  
  
Usagi sweat dropped. "Oh boy."  
  
"I have a girlfriend, you know."  
  
"Yes, I know."  
  
"God, if--"  
  
Just then Lady Firefly the magical dancing sugar addict flew past them both on her purple kinto'un, shouting "WHEEEEE!" at the top of her lungs, in order to block the name of Trunks's girlfriend out, for fear of spoiling the plot of Mirakuru Romansu which is a really good story you must all read NOW. And review every chapter.  
  
"--found out about this, she'd flip," Trunks said, completely ignoring the hyperactive 12 year old that just flew past.  
  
Usagi sweat dropped. "What was that about?"  
  
"Oh, Firefly? She does that all the time I mention--"  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
"--'s name. She says she's going to keep doing it until she gets up to the part of the story where--"  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
"--and I finally get together. I'm getting kinda used to it, actually." Trunks explained.  
  
"I see." Usagi blinked, and took back the script, reading her lines (and Trunks's) in an impossibly quick manner. "Whthankyouyouknowyou'rereallycutetooUhthankswhydon'tIshowyoutoyourroomThanksTrunksyou'rewelcome."  
  
Trunks sweat dropped. "I think you read my--"  
  
"I know, let's just get on to the next scene."  
  
"Okay…"  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"So what's with the script? And why are we going shopping?" Bulma asked loudly as she and Usagi walked through the overly crowed Satan City Mall.  
  
"I told you, I don't know why there's such a stupid script, but we have to follow it, and it says you take me clothes shopping and then we bump into the Son family." Usagi explained.  
  
Bulma sweat dropped. "How do we know they're going to be here?"  
  
"I called them before-hand," Usagi replied, playing with a strand of her golden blonde hair. "Chi-Chi actually seemed pretty excited. Said she'd always wanted to be an actress."  
  
Bulma shrugged.  
  
"Anyway, I made a couple copies of the script so I wouldn't have to pass mine back and forth," She gave a copy to Bulma. "Here. I think you start the scene."  
  
Bulma scanned her copy with her eyes. "No, you do."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay…" She cleared her throat. "Gosh Bulma, it was really nice of you to invite me to go shopping with you."  
  
"Oh, it was nothing, Usagi." Bulma said happily without missing a beat. "After all, if you're going to be living in this dimension from now on, you're going to need clothing!"  
  
"Wow, Bulma," Usagi stared at the older woman. "You're a much better actor then Trunks was."  
  
"ActRESS, dear," Bulma corrected her, then cleared her throat and continued. "And besides, it's the least I could do. Trunks seems…so…fond…of…you…" Her blue eyes widened. "HOLY SHIT!"  
  
Usagi sweat dropped. "I take that back."  
  
Bulma stared at the piece of paper in front of her in shock. "But I thought Trunks and--"  
  
"WHEEEEEEE!"  
  
"--were a couple, not Trunks and YOU!"  
  
"They are. Script, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah." Bulma blinked. "Who wrote this, anyway?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Hi Bulma, Hi Usagi!" Chi Chi called out suddenly, dragging Goten and Gohan over. "So where's this script you were talking about?"  
  
"Script?" Gohan echoed, obviously confused.  
  
Goten looked up at Usagi. "Uhh…hi 'Sagi. Whatcha doin? And why is Kaasan actin all funny?"  
  
Usagi blinked and stared at the little chibi, forcing the thought of hugging the adorable little half-saiyajin boy until he popped like an overcooked hot dog down, she smiled happily. "Well, some crazy idiot wrote a stupid script for all of us to follow and…well, we do. As for your mother, I think she may have lost a few marbles."  
  
Goten blinked. "Is following the script like following the leader?"  
  
"Um, Goten, why don't you go back home or something," Gohan said, a sweat drop appearing on the back of his head.  
  
"Oh, but he has a bunch of lines," Usagi said, looking through the script.  
  
"But I don't know how to read!" Goten protested.  
  
Usagi blinked. "Well…we can just skip his lines…Oh, before I forget, here ya go." She handed Gohan and Chi Chi a copy of the script.  
  
"Okayokay…HI Bulma!" Chi Chi yelled very loudly and slightly melodramatically, waving her arm about. "What are YOU doing here? And who's this nice young girl with you?"  
  
"This is Usagi, she's going to be staying with us at Capsule Corp," Bulma said calmly and very realistically. "She doesn't really have any clothes besides the stuff she's wearing, so I'm taking her shopping with me."  
  
"Well that's GREAT! What a COINCIDENCE!" Chi Chi shouted theatrically. "I was just taking GOHAN and GOTEN with me SHOPPING for NEW CLOTHING!"  
  
"But Kaasan, we don't need new--"  
  
"Shut up, Gohan. Why don't we AAAAALL go shopping TOGETHER!"   
  
"Well that's a great idea, Chi Chi!" Bulma said happily.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Um…aren't we going to go 'shopping' now?" Gohan said?  
  
"Well it doesn't tell us in the script how exactly we should shop." Usagi said.  
  
"Let's just not shop and say we did." Bulma muttered under her breath. "People are starting to stare at us."  
  
"Okay…" Usagi blinked. "Well that was fun wasn't it."  
  
More Silence.  
  
"Gohan, it's your line."  
  
"It is?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okaysorry…yeah, it was. Why don't we all go back to Capsule Corp now. I need you to fix my Saiyaman costume, Bulma."  
  
"Okay, sure thing Gohan!" Damn it, Bulma's a good actor.  
  
"YEAH, that's a GREAT IDEA!" Now, Chi Chi, not so much.  
  
Then, upon looking at the next scene, the LEMON scene, they decided to skip the entire scene and definitely not tell Trunks and--  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
--about it. Especially--  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Now go! Read! Review! And then go read and review MirR! 


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